Apparently the safest and easiest way to achieve a goal, any goal?, is to bullshit your way through it. Too bad I never learnt how to bullshit, otherwise I would’ve made it.
In another life, perhaps I could have been actually good in something. ANYTHING.
Apparently I am tolerable to some point, superficial mostly. The moment things get a tad bit intimate, the other party (without a single exception, regardless of the nature of the connection) realizes the dull tedious boring monster which has been lurking around, waiting for a chance to attack them.
However that is not the problematic part (troublesome? sure. But I am used to it by now). What bothers me most is the ways they choose to rid of me. In more than one occasion, I was told that they are not into men. “Yay, good for you, I applaud your courage.”. Only to be introduced to their new male partners in a matter of days.
A great number of my friendships ended up with them vanishing in thin air. Out of no where, in a sunny great looking morning, they stopped talking to me.
Again, given the frequency of it, the definitive culprit is me and only me. No argue there.
*Not sure even “Abominability” is a word.
In preparation of Logan, time to brush up and read it again.
If only it were that easy to write here.
I miss you like hell, with every dysfunctional unhealthy cell in my rotting body.
Boring, not fun most of the times, grumpy, moody and overall worst companion one could ever possibly have. That’s me.
What I did instead, was drowning myself into work.
بابا یکی یاد این دهن بی صاحب موندهی منو گل بگیره دنیایی رو راحت کنه.
هی من میگم ضد اجتماعم، مردم گریزم، نفهمم، حرف زدن بلد نیستم، تا یکی باهام خوش اخلاقی میکنه پاچهاشو میگیرم، هی یکی پیدا میشه میگه نه.
الان اومدم گند پریشبمو درست کنم، همچین ریـدم که با گه خوردن حقیقی هم نمیشه جمعش کرد. مقعد لق خودم، اعصاب و روان یه بندهی خدای دیگه رو خراب کردم. اگه تا دو ساعت پیش فکر میکرد که یه کم خل وضعم الان مطمئنه که با یک روان پریش خطرناک طرفه.